![]() ![]() ![]() SPIEGEL: And we have a story about dating for balance. ROSIN: We're looking at a group of people in Denmark who are using noncomplementary behavior to address one of the biggest problems facing the world today, terrorism and radicalization. So we're going to look at the way that people use noncomplementary behavior to change things up and flip the script. ROSIN: Hashtag, #noncomplementarybehavior. And today, our show is about noncomplementary behavior. SPIEGEL: INVISIBILIA is a show about all of the invisible forces that shape human behavior - our beliefs, thoughts, emotions, assumptions. They're examples of noncomplementary behavior. SPIEGEL: The march in Selma, nonviolence in India, offering a man with a gun at your head a glass of wine - those aren't miracles. is because they were able to maintain a sort of warmth and integrity in the face of people who were being cruel to them. HOPWOOD: The reason, for example, that we admire people like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. But also, it can happen on a bigger level. And when they do, it often completely shakes up a situation - flips the script. SPIEGEL: But people do manage to sometimes behave in noncomplementary ways. Or maybe I'll respond with coldness to you because you're being unfriendly to me. HOPWOOD: So if I am really nice to you, and you're really cold and unfriendly to me, generally speaking, either I'll try to do something to, like, appease you and make you like me so that you'll warm up. And according to Hopwood, it's incredibly hard to do. And breaking this pattern - say, being really warm to somebody after they've been incredibly hostile to you - that is noncomplementary behavior. So when someone is hostile to you, you are typically hostile back. So the basic idea is that people naturally mirror each other. And one of the things that he looks at is called noncomplementary behavior. Chris spends his life looking at how people interact with each other. SPIEGEL: This is a professor at Michigan State University named Chris Hopwood. SPIEGEL: But was it a miracle? Or is there a better word for what happened that night?īefore we start, do you have any questions for me? RABDOU: It was like this was like a miracle. At the time, all they could think to do was run into the house and cry in gratitude. SPIEGEL: Later that evening, after everything had calmed down, they would find the glass neatly placed on the sidewalk by their alley - not thrown, not carelessly discarded - placed. And he walked out with a glass of wine out the gate. But we all did come around him and hug him. RABDOU: I can't tell you how strange that was. ![]() SPIEGEL: And so everyone got up and formed a circle around the man. RABDOU: And then he said something just so strange - just said, can I get a hug? My wife hugged him. SPIEGEL: For a moment, they all sat there together, the stars overhead twinkling, the sound of chirping insects in the night air. RABDOU: I think I've come to the wrong place. And then he said something that no one expected. SPIEGEL: The man drank his wine, ate his cheese. RABDOU: And he tasted the wine - and just said to him, that's a really good glass wine. SPIEGEL: All of a sudden, Michael says, the look on the man's face changed. Why don't you have a glass of wine (laughter)? KHYBER: She said, you know, we're here celebrating. SPIEGEL: But then one of the women at the table, this woman Christina, pipes up. SPIEGEL: Michael remembers thinking, this is headed towards a very bad end. RABDOU: And he said something like, I don't have an effing mother. KHYBER: What would your mother think of you? So they started talking, grasping for some way to dissuade the man. RABDOU: Or I'm going to start effing shooting. KHYBER: Kept repeating, give me your money. SPIEGEL: That's Khyber, Michael's daughter. He raised the gun and held it first to the head of Michael's friend, Christina, and then to the head of Michael's wife. SPIEGEL: The hand belonged to a man, medium height, in clean, high-end sweats. It was as if in slow motion this hand - and then it just got really quiet. And I just saw this arm with a long barrel gun come between us. And he says it was getting late, maybe around 10 p.m., when it happened. He was there with his wife and his 14-year-old daughter Khyber. ![]() MICHAEL RABDOU: Kind of one of those great evenings - lots of awesome food and French wine. They were toasting family and friendship. There were eight friends gathered around a backyard dinner table. This story starts in Washington, D.C., on a warm summer night. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |